Wordless Wednesday ~ The Challenge

Wordless Wednesday

H really is for Homemade!

I have to come back to H.  In my world, H really is for homemade.  I love to create, but it's more than that - it's the homemade black bean soup I had for lunch and the homemade granola the kids bring in for snack at school. It's their Halloween costumes and the curtain in our bathroom and the table on my front porch.  It's functional and whimsical and it's the feeling you get because there's nothing like seeing something you've made in use.  I don't think I could not create new things.  It's just who I am.

Happy Homemade Holidays!

I is for iphone

I love my iphone!  I can't even tell you all the ways I use this thing.  There's the obvious - phone calls, contacts, calendar, web browsing, facebook, twitter, taking pictures, etc.  But then there's things like using it as a GPS or tracking my stitches on my current projects or looking up different versions of bible passages or using it as a level when hanging pictures or letting the kids watch videos and play games.  I can't imagine my life without it!

H is for Holy Shit it's the Holidays!

Seriously, when did this happen?  Apparently I missed the memo.  Today is Monday, and on Thursday is Thanksgiving.  We're hosting.  It will be fine really.  I can just serve turkey and wine right?  That's all I really want anyway... well, maybe that and pumpkin cheesecake.  Then there's Christmas - don't even get me started with that.  We did hang twinkle lights inside our house yesterday and it's very festive feeling.  I may never take them down.  If I leave them up all year, do they still qualify as Christmas lights?

The reason why I've been so distracted and not really noticing the holidays is that I'm working on a few projects for needy families.  It's taking a lot of my time and energy and while I love that I can help, I'm hitting that wall of never feeling like I can do enough.  I'm trying not to get discouraged, but what I am right now is sad.  Sad that there's so many hungry kids here in my community and across the globe.  Sad that there are children who are homeless here in my town.  Sad that so many people choose not to see all this need and choose not to help.  Angry that for all we try to do to help, it's never enough.  I love my church and I'm organizing these projects as a way to reach out to our community through the church, but sometimes it's overwhelming.

Time to pray and get some rest - hopefully tomorrow will be brighter!

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

G is for Greyci

We adore our girl Greyci! She's a 2-year old yellow lab/greyhound, and the sweetest dog in the world!

F is for Fat, Fasting and the Future

I'm fat.  I've been fat most of my life (except when I was having anxiety issues and couldn't eat much for a few years, and if I ate too much or the wrong thing I'd have a panic attack and throw up).  It's really not the end of the world and I don't hate myself for being fat.  It doesn't stop me from doing things like laying on the beach, though I'm sure there are people out there that would prefer I didn't lay out on the beach.  I still play soccer, run around with my kids, go for long walks, and most anything I want to do.  It definitely affects what I wear and occasionally my confidence (thanks to the "skinny meanie mommies" at my kids' school).  Today I stepped on the scale and found that I have gained 10 lbs over the last 2 months which puts me at my highest weight in 3 years.  I knew it was going to be bad since my jeans were getting tight, but ugh.  

Since my weight is not something I've been able to control over the last 32-1/2 years, I'm giving it to God.  Today I started a short daylight fast and plan on doing it every day this week.  I'm focusing on opening my heart and reaching out to God for his help with this issue.  I all ready planned on a week of more intensive praying since I can feel my stress level going up, and asking for guidance with taking on more of a leadership role at church.  Hopefully this one more thing isn't too much for me (I know it's not too much for God, I'm the one with the issues).  Plus a daylight fast isn't too stressing on my body - maybe someday I'll have the strength to do a real week long fast.

And now onto the future.  I really wonder what the future holds for me.  In the last year I've see my faith grow and felt the change and know people around me have seen the change.  I have a level of hope that I've never had before.  My heart is more open than it's ever been before.  I pray that this continues and that I can make a real difference in the lives of others - both those that are close to me and those that I don't know but can help.  I'm just one person, but I know I can make a difference, and I hope I can keep that going.  Small ways, big ways, whatever.  I've always had a heart of service, and I believe that God has led me here, to have these friends, this small group, this church, so that I can use that heart of service and fulfill part of my purpose.  (now to work on getting rid of some of this old baggage so I can truly move forward for Him!)

E is for Escape

Calgone take me away!  The last couple weeks have been rough.  We've had an increase in violence at work, so everyone is stressed and worried there.  And our department lost one of our own to cancer - may she rest in peace.  Another friend went missing for several days.  He's back and ok, thankfully.  And the love of my life has taken a turn for the worse, and while I know this is a temporary state of anger/depression for him, it's still so hard to deal with.  My heart aches to help him and there's nothing I can do beyond being there for him when he needs me and help with the kids when he needs space.

So we had a short escape to Oak Island (the boys, my parents and I).  The weather was beautiful and we had a wonderful time.

I've also decided to escape each evening into the National Novel Writing Month Challenge.  I think it will be fun and a completely different creative outlet.  200 words down 49800 to go!

(Photo courtesy of The Southport Times)

D is for Dreams

Do you remember back when you were little and everything was possible? You could be and do anything in your imagination? And you dreamed of growing to be a _______ (fill in with whatever you wanted to be). At one point I was going to be a cheerleader at night and a doctor during the day.  Seriously.

Tomorrow Where the Wild Things Are is coming out in the theaters. Oh how I remember this book from when I was little! I wanted to be Max and float away on my magic boat to lands far away where there are strange creatures (that resemble Sweetums from the Muppets) who want to play with me all the time, and I get to be in charge of them. Me, queen of the Sweetum monsters!

My boys have the book and love it as well. I hope that it inspires them to reach beyond themselves into that space where imagination and ambition comes together to create greatness. Fostering their imagination and dreams now is my job, but it is their job to create those dreams and goals, and to hold onto them.

C is for Creating

I consider myself a fairly creative person - kind of like if Macgyver needed to decorate his house and a new wardrobe he'd call me and I'd show up with my knitting needles and a glue gun. I love to create - not just knit. You might recall my table from August. We use it everyday and still love it. These are the kind of projects I love the most - the ones that are useful from day one and continue to be useful for many years. Many of my knitting projects are like this - I use them for years and hopefully some of the knitted gifts I've given are used for years.

When I'm creating I go through a mental process of seeing a need or desire, brainstorming on how to best meet that need, planning, and then executing my plan. Sounds simple enough, but can take anywhere from a couple minutes to a couple months.

I've been thinking lately a lot about goal setting, bucket lists, etc. Today's project with my sons is actually going to be sitting down and having each of them write down 10 things they want to learn more about and 10 things they want to do someday. The boys are 5 & 7 and I have to admit I got this idea from a friend. I think it will teach them a lot about goal setting and it will teach me a lot about my boys - what a great way to get to know them more deeply. And I can't wait for us to look back at everything in a year and see what we've accomplished and write new lists.

So what about me? What are my goals, creative and otherwise? Today it hit me that I should try to shape myself the way I shape my projects - find my need/desire (in this case a mental picture of my ideal me), brainstorm on how best to become that person, plan, and then execute. I feel closer to the person that I want to be than I ever have been before. Kinda cool. But I know there's a lot more I want to do/be/feel. And I know that this vision will change over time, but what better way to honor who I am now and who I want to be than intentionally planning how to become that ideal me? It's really exciting in a way - rather than drudge through things, I'm going to create the person I want to be.

B is for Bono

My A is for Alex post has me mentally stuck on the alphabet. And since we went to UVA on the 1st to see U2, Bono is still on my brain.

U2 is the only band left that we both wanted to see in concert. Sadly, every time they're close enough for us to go something comes up. This year the planets aligned - my parents were here to watch the kids, we got tickets, and we could actually get away for a couple days. Our 10th anniversary was back in August, so it made the perfect 10th anniversary get-away.

I've grown up listening to U2. I remember seeing them on MTV singing "Do they even know it's Christmas?" when I was 7 or 8. I still have Rattle & Hum around here somewhere on tape. This is a band that I have never let go of from childhood, and I'm amazed that they still are making incredible new music. People grow up, musicians retire, not much stays the same. But for some reason I've always been moved by U2's music. And now I've finally been to a show - I hope it's not my last!

Charlottesville knew what they were doing when planning for this concert. We arrived at 6:30 and stopped to grab dinner about 3 blocks from the parking lot. We parked in one of their designated parking lots at 6:50, and then walked the mile or so to the show. We were in our seats by 7:15. Seriously. It was painless (other than the pebbles in my shoe). Yes, it was busy and there were a phenomenal number of people there, but it was so well planned you barely felt crowded. We were up in the top section of seats and it was fun just to watch everyone arrive. The opening band, Muse, sounded like they were having technical difficulties. Musically they sounded great, but the lead singer was just off. Oh well.

The stage was amazing and fun to see change over the course of the show. Since we were up high I feel like we had the best vantage point to see everything - especially the stage. There have been so many reviews of the show, I'm not going to get into how great it was - and it was great, incredible, amazing, etc. I was shocked at how you could feel the energy from the band all the way up to our seats. I was shocked at how their music touches me still. I'm still in awe of how Bono manages to run all over the stage like he's 20.

The entire experience was just amazing and exhilarating. We left excited and energized and happy and all those things that you should be after a wonderful evening of fantastic music. I've never seen anything like it, and I hope they tour in our area again because we'll be there.

Images courtesy of powerlinead.wordpress.com, huffingtonpost.com, and U2Star.com.

A is for Alex

Recently, my husband's best friend's wife had a baby early. So I'm the slacker who didn't start knitting the baby blanket until two weeks after Alex had been born. Here's my A is for Alex blanket!

Wordless Wednesday

Thank you KnitPicks.com!

Keeping up and moving around

This month has been a big travel month for me - Oak Island NC with the knitting girls, Boston for work, and tomorrow I leave for Charlottesville VA for the U2 concert. My parents also moved here from Maine. Craziness!

Anyway, I've been blogging over on Sparkpeople and completely neglecting this blog. So now I'm coming back over here and dropping my Sparkpeople blog. Be ready for some changes... not just knitting... now it's anything that flies out of my brain.

Remembering

I remember Brent calling me, 6-1/2 months pregnant with Kyle, telling me that a plane had crashed into one of the towers. I thought it was an awful joke or a hoax, I didn't believe him. It couldn't be real. I pulled up cnn.com and saw the pictures. It was real. Brent and I got off the phone, and Megan and I found a tv down the hall and turned it on. The second plane hit. It was real. I remember shaking, scared for Brent in Boston's Financial District. He was so far up - I think it was the 21st floor - at One Financial Center. Someone on tv said the planes were from Boston. It was real. Someone on tv said there was a bomb at the Pentagon. There were pictures, so much smoke. Deb called me to tell me to leave Boston "Take a cab voucher, don't take the T. Go home. It's not safe." It was real. Brent called again to say that they were evacuating his building and he was going to take the T home. I told him I'd come by with a cab, and we'd go home together. Then I called my parents and left a message on their answering machine. "They're evacuating us. It's scary. I love you." Just in case. I watched the first tower collapse on tv, debris everywhere, the screams of the camera crew and people in the street, I wanted to throw up. I had to get out of the city - protect my baby. The cab ride was quick. There were people in the streets, but not as many cars as I would have expected. It was only 10:30 or so. I remember the relief when I saw Brent in front of his building. Then he was in the cab and we were on our way home. I tried to call friends who worked in the city, but all the lines were busy. I didn't get to hear their voices until the 12th. The next few days we sat glued to the tv. It was so quiet. We lived along the path for flights into Logan, and for days there were no planes. Nothing seemed real, but it was real.

The fear and sadness is as real to me today as it was eight years ago. I wonder if that will ever change? Part of me wishes it would, but another part of me wants to hold onto it. I want my children to understand what happened that day so they understand how important the work is that others to do keep us safe. I want them to be vigiliant. I want them to keep them safe.

Sweater Picture

Yea, not the best angle, but no one was home to help me take the picture. I've had sooo many compliments on it - it makes it even better when I can say "Oh this? It's just something I knitted up last week." LOL!

Creativity!

The last few days I've had these fits of energy and getting things done and even a bit of creativity! I had forgotten how great that felt. Last week I knit a sweater, yes an entire sweater, for myself. It's supercute and exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately, I forget that I'm no longer an xxl and I made it a little big. So it's very comfy and I'll definitely wear it, but I could have made it smaller. As soon as I remember I'll take pictures of it.

Tonight the boys were playing Battleship on the porch, and they kept spilling the little pegs because they had to hold the game sets in their laps. Well, somewhere in my brain it clicked - we needed a table for the porch... and I noticed the fence my neighbor recently tore down sitting in their yard... and voila - a table!

Obviously it's a little rustic and probably needs a coat of paint, but the boys and I managed to build it in one night! We even got to eat ice cream at the table tonight. I'm excited about it on so many levels - it was creative, it came out cute, it's functional, it was free, it's all recycled... YAY!!!

Week Two

Yay! So far for July I've lost 9 lbs! That's a lot!!! I've also kept up with everything else - reading, praying, vitamins, fiber, balancing cream, exercising and eating right. And I'm trying really hard to stay on top of my Arbonne business. I'm feeling a little spread thin, but in a good way - not the burn out way.

And I've even sent Sunayana the sweater for Kai.

Now I'm working on an iphone case before I start another sweater. Lots of progress!

Sometimes you just need a good laugh...

Week One

This week has actually been sooooo productive! I finished Kai's sweater, but now I have to find the perfect buttons. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have time to do that and then I'll post pictures. I've made a soap sock for my neighbor little Miss Mirium. Now I've got to start something else, or maybe drag out a ufo to work on.

And I've been really good with my 40 days of purpose. I missed exercising (and I use the term very loosely) one day and missed my PM vitamin one day. Not too bad. I've lost 6 lbs. I know... that just can't be right, can it? That means I've lost 6.8 lbs so far for July! Holy crap! I know it's just 'water weight' blah blah blah, but that number makes me pretty darn excited. And that means I'm now less than 10 lbs to my first goal (9.2 to be exact). Pedicure, here I come!

Now onto the more serious... in the first week we've learned that it's not about us, it's all about Him, we are not an accident, He should be the driving force in our lives, this life is not all there is, life is a test and a trust and temporary, and that there's a reason for everything - pretty good stuff. I think sometimes I need to be reminded, particularly of the "life is a test" piece. Am I doing the best that I can with what I have? Am I making the right choices? How can I make better choices? I think right now I'm in the midst of a test from God. It's a big one and one that is very difficult for me. It's been going on for a while and sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and say "whatever" and do what I want to do. I know deep down that's not the right decision. I know that there is a lesson to be learned and that basically I've been stupid and not getting it. Ok, I'm the slow kid in class. But I'm hoping now that I'm starting to get it that this test and the point of this lesson will stick with me forever. I'd hate to have to go through this test again!

40 Days of Purpose/Getting my Life Together

The last few weeks have felt out of control to me. Friends have passed away, friends have gotten cancer, relationships have ended, I've gained weight, stopped going by our budget, been exhausted and lost touch with Christ. I've been reacting rather than creating. It's amazing how much can change in a few short weeks.

This past weekend was just what I needed - 3 days camping at the beach. It was a great break between life then and life now. Our small group met last night and we're starting a study on The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I read this book a few years ago, but really didn't take the time necessary to reflect on it. This study comes at the perfect time for me to reconnect with Christ and take back my life.

So for the next 40 days, I've come up with my plan to take back my life. (Yes, I know these are heavily focused on my physical being, but I think the only way I'm going to feel better emotionally and spiritually is if I'm taking care of this body that God gave me.)

Daily I'm going to....

1. Read and Reflect
2. Pray
3. Take my vitamins
4. Take my fiber
5. Use my balancing cream
6. Exercise
7. Follow my nutritionist's eating plan

I pray I can do this for 40 days - I know that it's worth it and that at the end of these 40 days I will be in a much better place in my life!

Friday Night

Enough said...

U2

Today I'm working on a bunch of data changes for MGH.  So boring, which actually gets stressful because I have to try so hard to stay focused.  In October DH and I are going to see U2 up in Charlottesville, VA (we bought the tickets before the Raleigh show had been announced), and I find myself listening to them a lot lately.  Today it dawned on me what they sound like to me... a sunrise.  They have so many crescendos and the way the music flows is like the sun coming up over an East Coast beach and warming my face.  Maybe that's why I get such energy when I listen to them!

Update: pics of the baby sweater

Some knitting!

For Mother's Day I knit Mom two dishcloths.  I hope she actually uses them - she tends to tell me things are 'too pretty' to use, which drives me nuts.  For me that's the whole point of knitting - something pretty and unique to use!

Now for myself I finally finished my wrap around cardigan.  Not the greatest picture, but it has become one of my favorite sweaters.  And it's MACHINE WASHABLE!  Thank you Knit Picks!

I finished knitting the baby sweater for Traci's new little girl Louisa.  When I was waiting for this photo to upload I finally figured out what I was going to do for the button - I have a vintage looking clasp that would be gorgeous on it.  Now to sew it on and mail it up to them in NH!

And finally I started a pair of socks for Dad for Father's day.  Hopefully I can finish them in time... if not, oh well, he understands!  I love doing them both at the same time - no more 'onesockitis'!

April

What is up with this weather?!  Oye - one day it's 80 and the next it's 40.  I just want the weather to make up it's mind.  

We've had a lot of drama lately.  M&D are moving down.  They really enjoyed their month here in February.  They were back last week to check out Wilmington and decided the F-V area is where they want to be.  They want to open up a sewing/fabric shop here in town.  We really need one, so it would be great.  It's a lot of stress.

Also, my friend J. has been very sick.  She's got 3 kids and home-schools them, so it's a lot of stress.  Her DH works full-time, so it's a lot for her to do all on her own.  She had surgery to remove her gall bladder a couple weeks ago and seems to be much better.  I actually did knit her a prayer shawl - it was actually one that I resurrected from my knitting basket.  It originally was going to be for Erica, who passed away last year.  I couldn't bring myself to frog it and it's been with me ever since.  It just felt good to knit it again, this time for J. with all my prayers for her and her family.  The surgery was a success and we're so happy for her.

Unfortunately, J.'s DH R. lost his job officially today.  He knew on Friday that he was going to be laid off today.  How terrible.  Today he went in, signed his separation agreement and then the family headed off to visit family in GA.  It's good that they can get away and hopefully have some time to regroup.  I'm so sad for them.  They are such good people, caring, sweet, hard working... it's hard to see this happen to someone so close.  I know others that have been laid off, but none that have been so close to us and none that have had kids.  

Please pray for them - I worry about the tough times they have ahead.

Fun Pictures!

This weekend we visited Imagination Station in Wilson, and they have a kaleidoscope where one person looks in each end. It was really fun!

Slippers!

I've wanted to knit myself slippers for months, but just haven't had the time. It's getting cold again here in NC, and I decided tonight I need slippers. Easy pattern, 3 hours of knitting, and my feet are warm tonight!

The Yarn Harlot

I admit I'm a little slow. I'm just now reading "Yarn Harlot: the secret life of a knitter" by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee. From 2005.

I have loved this book from the start. First, I'm a mom and I love that the chapters are short and stand alone. That is fantastic. It means I can actually read it and not forget things (wait -that makes me sound like I'm old - really I'm not old!). Second, this woman is a riot. I've known this for years since I read her blog, and this book is some of her best stuff. Stephanie is so normal. She's a mom, she knits, she battles squirrels... I can identify with her life and she makes me feel like I'm more normal. Bonus!

And now for my favorite chapter of her book - Parents and Knitters. She writes "The top ten ways why being a parent is like being a knitter". And while I enjoy the entire chapter my favorite today is "3. Both knitting and parenting are more pleasant if you have the occasional glass of wine, but go right down the drain if you start up with a lot of tequila or shooters." I feel like she actually knows me - or my kids - or my knitting.

Now I have to go get all her books from the library!

Free-range knitter: The yarn harlot writes again
Things I Learned From Knitting Whether I Wanted To or Not
Stephanie Pearl-McPhee Casts Off The Yarn Harlot's Guide to the Land of Knitting
Knitting Rules! The Yarn Harlot's Bag of Knitting Tricks
At Knit's End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much
Knitlit Too edited by Linda Roghaar and Molly Wolf

Another New Post! Thank You!

Another post!!! I got "Thank You" award from Sabrina of My Little Slice of Pie. I was thanked and now I am supposed to thank 10 other bloggers. They in turn thank ten others and link back to me - so exciting! Sabrina's blog is fantastic - especially her recipes! She has a recipe for just about everything - and they're all the home-made type that I aspire to make. And she's in my knitting group and she goes to my gym (where as I don't actually go to my gym, but I think about it every month when I see the money go out of my checking account). You inspire me!

Now to thank 10 others!
1. Kate of GooGooGoingsOn
2. Ellen of Purl Diva
3. Laurie of Crazy Aunt Purl
4. Maya of the Gamble Life
5. Amy of Boogie Knits
6. Laurie of Punk Rock HR
7. Ginny and the other thread-spinners at 30 threads
8. Kelly of Yarn Rambles
9. Franklin of Panopticon
10. Wendy of Knit and Tonic

Love you all!!!

Busy Busy!

I know it's been just over a month since I last posted and for the record I'm still alive. I've been so busy since returning from Maine, then I got sick, and then my parents arrived - it's been crazy!

Speaking of crazy - NC weather is crazy. In mid-January my kids got two days off from school for 6 inches of snow! Wow 6 whole inches! You can see how thrilled they are....

Well, actually they did have fun... but two days off for this much snow?!? really now??

Then this past weekend it was in the 70s. GORGEOUS!!!! We spent Sunday at the beach with my parents. (yes they're making "sand angels" - it's February!)

The knitting is going fabulous as well - I've finished a few more gifts and done some work for a friend. Now I'm working on my super easy (read super boring to knit) raglan wrap sweater. It's going to so cute when I'm done... it's just horribly boring to knit. I've had to throw in a few lace projects here and there just to keep interested. But again - it will be very nice when done... very soft and flattering (I hope!)

And my new business is going well. I'm trying to get on top of that as well, but with everything else I worry I'm not putting enough effort into it. Hopefully over the next week or so I can get back to it - there's only so much time in a week!

2009

Ok - so I'm quite possibly the last person to blog about what they want out of 2009. I had a few things going against me... recovering from knitting a zillion (22) gifts for people for Christmas, traveling to the frozen tundra known as Maine then hitting a damn ice patch here in NC almost killing us, and then of course my son's 7th birthday. But now at 11:30 at night before I have to go back to work I'm ready to go!

2009 needs a theme - something to keep me focused on my goals. A few years ago my theme was "Simplify", then there was "the year of Jen", now I think I'll go with "spend and eat nothing" given my current money and pants situation.

Actually, I'm going with "Breathe". While this may seem odd, it makes a lot of sense in my life. First, my life is insane. In the last year, we've given up our 4 cats (tragic), moved from Maine to North Carolina, and completely reinvented our lives. I'm trying to keep everything together and dammit, that's hard to do. So "breathe" is a good mantra for when I'm on the verge of losing my mind.

Second, I'm determined to start running again and doing races. So breathing is important there as well. Third, I'm getting sick of this topic, so lets move on....

My resolutions!

1. Spend more time focused on my kids and husband
2. Lose weight (like you didn't see that coming)
3. Better balance between work/family/life
4. Get back into running and going to the gym
5. Build my businesses, both Etsy and Arbonne

Now most people would say that these goals work against each other, but I think I've found ways to meld them together. For example, spinning class with DH is both time spent focused on him and gets my ass to the gym - hello resolutions 1, 2, 3, and 4!

So here's to 2009! I have hope for a happy, calm, fun year!